Upcoming Reviews

Here are some bands I may or may not post reviews on:

Putrefy (brutal death)
Putridity (brutal death)
Imperanon (melodic death)
Endrone (metalcore)
Artillery (thrash metal)
Swashbuckle (thrash death)
Wormed (death grind)

All that Remains - Overcome

Ok, now for me to go through the painstaking process of reviewing one of the most famous and most infamous metalcore albums in history, Overcome by All that Remains. Remember, I used to be in love with this album back during the time of its release. It was roughly two years ago that I started going “eeehhh” at this album. One thing that I’ll never change my mind about is that their performance at the 2009 Mayhem Festival was great and very entertaining. One thing that I also haven’t changed my mind about (yet) is that the only song by them that I still like is from this album, Two Weeks. But I’m even growing old of that song now. Now that I’ve listened to this thing for the first time in what seems like forever, I’m ready to write a good review on it…well, not that kind of “good”.

I’m having an extremely hard time finding positive things to say about this record. I can only say raw factual things and negative things. The heavy parts are extremely dull and horribly rushed, the melodic parts are derived from nu metal bands Disturbed and Saliva (neither of which are total disasters). I’ve heard a lot about the apparent excessive use of auto-tune in the singing, but I’m having a very hard time hearing it. There is one thing that’s easily noticeable, and that is that the singing HAS had A LOT of editing done on it. I’m serious, the singing sounds completely artificial! No, I don’t hear the uneven changes in pitch caused in auto-tune, but I definitely can tell that there was a hell of a lot of editing on the vocals.

The screaming has obviously had editing done on as well because there is no way that a vocalist can change the sound of his scream THAT much in only two years. So I can see how people would hear edited vocals and instantly just say “auto-tune” because that’s the only form of vocal editing they know of, but speaking in technical terms, there hasn’t been any auto-tune performed (that I can hear) other than possibly changing the pitch of his vocals before he starts singing so that he can sing a line with higher notes that he can’t quite reach. But I’m not saying that just because I don’t like the vocals, if for some crazy-ass reason, the vocals are actually pure and raw, then the singer just sucks altogether. So there’s really no getting out of that one, the singing sucks regardless of what’s been done to them.

Everything that the guitarists and bassist play is dull and boring. Yes, they play everything that needs to be played to be considered metalcore, but it’s completely unoriginal and FUCKING DULL, DULLER THAN A SPHERE! The distortion sounds cool at first, but then quickly gets in the way of any emotion they might be putting into what they’re playing. But I highly doubt that the guitarists are putting ANY kind of effort or emotion into their playing. I can’t even hear the bassist, so there’s no point at all talking about her.

Well, here’s a unique thing about them (if you’re hoping to hear something like that about them): they fuse metalcore with another genre. This is something that’s been done for over a decade, the most common fusion being metalcore with death metal (most commonly known as deathcore). But there are bands like Threat Signal and Demon Hunter that fuse metalcore with thrash metal, Mnemic whom fuses metalcore elements with industrial metal, Mutiny Within and Periphery who fuse metalcore with several genres like melodic death, alternative metal, power metal, djent (which I don’t consider a real genre), and rock. All that Remains fuses metalcore with hard rock and nu metal (mainly new metal, but there’s enough hard rock in their music that it should be mentioned).

So metalcore+nu metal+hard rock=All that Remains. If you ask me, that’s a pretty difficult task to pull-off and make it sound legit. Well, All that Remains has been doing that for the past 10 years and it sucks. The idea was great, and at first, the nu metal sounds they were implementing in their music were from heavier bands like Mudvayne and Slipknot. Now, they use much more melodic, mainstream and easier-selling nu metal elements that are most notably used by Five Finger Death Punch (although they’re rock now), Saliva, and post-2002 Disturbed. This has ended up in a complete collapse in the band’s quality and creativity. No wonder drummer Mike Bartlett left the band instantly after they released The Fall of Ideals in 2006! They started sucking!! But don’t get me wrong, the idea was great, but once the experimentation with better-selling nu metal elements started, they went downhill.

If you can’t quite pinpoint my opinion on this album, it sucks. It’s painful enough listening to it while I’m writing this review. I would give this album a 4/20. Nothing else needs to be said in this review, don’t waste your time on this piece of trash, it’s not worth your time. There are so many better metalcore bands than All that Remains! THIS ALUBM IS TRASH!

Confide - Recover

I know that many people have given up on screamo and have moved on to other areas of metal due to the sharp decrease in quality and originality the genre has taken over the past four years or so. And that’s completely understandable because even I have become less interested in screamo over time. But since I haven’t TOTALLY lost interest in that style of music, I still listen to some of my old favorites (Underoath, The Word Alive, Alesana, I am Ghost, etc.) and occasionally check to see what fresh new bands have recently risen from the undergrounds. Not only have I been doing this in screamo, but also in metalcore; which has led to countless disappointments and more supporting evidence of screamo and metalcore’s decrease in creativity and originality. Well, I’m here today to shine some light on the subject for those of you with a screamo band that more or less represents the diamond in the rough, Confide.

I’ve had this album on my computer for a little over a year, which was right when I was really starting to get pissed off at the screamo genre due to the recent releases of Attack Attack!, Vampires Everywhere, Enter Shikari, and many others. Oh, and yes, I am fully aware that the old Confide drummer is now the drummer for Avenged Sevenfold. And I also know that he is NOT on this particular album, which is somewhat unfortunate because this is Confide’s best release.

I’ve become EXTREMELY picky when it comes to screamo, because in the condition the genre is currently in, only the BEST of the BEST deserve my credit. So here are things that I feel make up a credible screamo band: a vocalist that has a strong, clean, high-pitched scream and a good, deep growl (if he/she growls). The singing has to be PRISTINE and above-average with no auto-tune (although I know that some bands like I See Stars use auto-tune for effect to fit the music, so that’s an understandable exception since the singer has already expressed his ability to sing great without it). The songs need to have plenty of variety and body; which means MORE THAN JUST SIMPLE BREAKDOWNS! Yes, I know that the breakdown is a huge part of the screamo genre, but there seriously needs to be more to it than just that. The drummer has to have excellent kick drumming skills (i.e. Asking Alexandria, Underoath, etc.), and the guitarists and bassist need to play more than just really low chords. This is (for me) what makes up a good screamo band.

But, of course, a band can be REALLY strong in any one of those areas to the point where it makes up for any of the areas where the band lacks. Like for example, Alesana’s screamer…well…sucks. But the extreme color and creativity that Alesana expresses in their music as well as the musicianship makes up for the crappy screaming. Confide is a screamo band that is strong in every single one of the areas I listed above. The last time I came across a band like that was when I was introduced to The Word Alive in early 2010 when I saw them open for Alesana (and yes it’s completely coincidental that I just used Alesana as an example before).

Confide’s music is very traditional and doesn’t add in any extra instruments or sounds to make it extremely unique and recognizable (like keyboards, orchestral sounds, etc.). But this is probably because the band realized that they didn’t need any of that in this album because it was already more than good enough. If they put anything extra in this album, the music would most likely sound overdone and that there’s too much going on at once, which has proved to end up disastrous in previous accounts. But there isn’t only a good side to the simplicity of this record, there’s also a bad side. And that bad side is that the music is less memorable and has less of a recognizable sound. Confide is one of the only good screamo bands that I can think of that doesn’t have a specific trait that no one else has. The only thing that I can think about them is that they’re very well-rounded, skilled, creative, and energetic.

The screaming sounds SOMEWHAT unique. But then again, there are much more recognizable screamers out there (Spencer Chamberlain, Austin Carlie, post-2010 Caleb Shomo, etc.), but the vocalist for Confide isn’t any more unique than Danny Worsnop or Beau Bokan. Although his screaming isn’t the least bit unique, it still sounds very crisp and has a very strong sound. The singing is also not unique in any way, but still has great range and has a beautiful sound.

Ok, let’s talk about the music itself. One thing that I look for in screamo (and metalcore) bands is how they put together their breakdowns. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just sick and tired of the simplistic traditional breakdowns. Of course I still enjoy the breakdowns in the older records I’ve listened to for years, but starting in late 2011, simplistic breakdowns cause albums to get lower scores in my reviews. The breakdowns in THIS album aren’t SUPER simple, but they’re definitely not totally new. Listen to the first song, which completely blew me away in my first listen. The song opens with some traditional electronics which then drops an extremely heavy non-traditional breakdown that has a fucking shitload of power and ambient harmonizing guitars that give it audible color. The screams and growls during that one part enhance the moment to create an intro that almost instantly confirmed that this was going to be a great album.

Once that song was over, I was purely amazed. After several painful months of listening to countless disgustingly horrible new screamo bands and records, this album left me so relieved that I actually gained a little bit more respect for the genre, thanks to Confide. But the awesomeness doesn’t end there! The music goes from heavier tracks that can be considered heavy metalcore to softer tracks that can be described as “calming chaos”. The sound quality of the record is perfect and couldn’t be any better. And finally, the sound that the album delivers never gets old. Of course, if the band were to re-unite and make a duplicate record, I wouldn’t be that impressed. But the lineup of members and the sound they create in this album is all that I need from this band. The drummer’s kickdrumming is amazing and EXTREMELY tight with the rest of the band. If you’re hoping for a screamo record that’s a diamond in the rough, get Recover by Confide. I would give this album 18/20.   

Hacksaw to the Throat - Tear my Eyes Out...

You've got to admit, Hacksaw to the Throat is a pretty fucking brutal name. I found out about these guys when I read the liner notes on the only album released by deathcore band Eviscerated, which said that the vocalist from Hacksaw to the Throat is doing guest vocals on a lot or most of the songs (I don’t know because I can’t find details on the Eviscerated album ANYWHERE). I know it’s true because…well listen to the very beginning of the last song on the Eviscerated album, Rectal Trauma. There is no denying that that scream belongs to Hacksaw to the Throat (I’m sorry, I just really love saying that name). Making the poor decision of judging the band’s sound on their name, I was expecting something with a lot of grind and a lot of brutality. Well, I did nail the grind part, but the brutality…not so much. They incorporate enough death metal and grindcore to land them a spot in the death grind category. But I wouldn’t say that they’re PURE death grind.

One thing that I do hear in A FEW places is some metalcore influence. Most of this takes place in the guitar solos. I say this because not only do the guitar solos sound like a generic metalcore solo, but a lot of the lines in the solos strongly remind me of some of the stuff All that Remains has done. Yes, I know All that Remains’ sound very well because I used to listen to them profusely when I was in middle school before I found out that I only liked them because I hadn’t heard anything better at the time (happens to everyone, no big). So death grind with a hint of metalcore is what I would call Hacksaw to the Throat.

Ok, for those of you that really don’t like and don’t tolerate really high-pitched exhaled screams, you’re going to HATE this. And to be honest, his screams aren’t really that attractive anyway, so it’s not like you’re missing out on something huge. The vocals do put a whole new twist on the music (may be a little too much). This isn’t exactly a good thing because that means the music isn’t complete and strong in all areas. If the music is primarily dependent on one element (i.e. vocals, drums, etc.), then it makes it so that when people (mainly critics and music buffs) block out one of the elements, it can expose the music in a way that the band most likely didn’t want it to.

The drummer in this band isn’t the worst I’ve ever heard in my life, but he definitely sucks. He’s attempting to play stuff that he’s not technically skilled enough to do. For example, a sign that he’s still an amateur drummer is that he can’t double-kick really fast without getting exhausted or falling out of time. A good death metal drummer can double-kick at a consistent speed for a good amount of time and not slow down or fall out of time (unless for some sick reason they do it on purpose). Now that I’m listening to the other stuff he does, he can’t really drum at all! He doesn’t know how to keep time, he’s not skilled, he’s attempting to play patterns and do tricks that are WAY out of his level, and the word “creative” doesn’t describe ANYTHING he plays on this record! He taps the ride cymbal way to fast, he double-kicks way too slow, the way he plays his high hat is inconsistent and sounds terrible, and he just plain fucking SUCKS! And just about every metalhead with at least some of his bolts screwed in right knows that a band with a shitty drummer is a shitty band. Hence supporting the statement “a chain (or band in this case) is only as strong as its weakest link”.

 The guitarists and bassist are pretty average and generic. They aren’t bad but they don’t have anything about them that I would call special or unique. The bassist can’t be heard very well anywhere in this record, which indicates that he’s at the bottom of the pecking order in this band. The guitarists are fairly good at what they do and get the job done right. They do slip up a couple of times with the tempo, but it’s not as noticeable with the drummer there fucking everything up. The metalcore influence can mainly be heard in some of the main riffs and in one or two of the solos. But even then, the guitar solos only consist of really fast tapping (the type of solo that Van Halen made famous). I would give this album 8/20 for being an ok record. I really wouldn’t recommend this to anyone except for death grind fans and people who want to listen to some unique underground metal. 

Benediction - The Grand Leveller

Most of the records that I write reviews on are modern ones. Since there is an increasing number of people (mainly extreme metal newbies) asking me to write some reviews on my favorite CLASSIC (meaning pre-1995) death metal records, I’m going to write some old death metal reviews. And of course, The Grand Leveller is what I consider to be one of the best albums from that time period. I know that Benediction doesn’t really need much of an introduction, but I’ll give a short one for the few that don’t know who they are. Of course, death metal’s earliest bands came from America (Possessed, Death, Morbid Angel, etc.) but in the late 80s there was a growing death metal scene in England too. Some of the most notable early British death metal and grindcore bands include Bolt Thrower, Napalm Death, Carcass, and Benediction. Although most would consider Bolt Thrower and Carcass to be the most influential out of the four I just listed, I feel that Benediction has been the most consistent and the most reliable out of all of them.

Of course, old-ass death metal records come with shitty quality. Because I’m primarily a black metal guy, I have a hard time enjoying shitty sound quality when it’s not black metal. For some odd reason, when it’s any kind of death metal, I prefer it to have really good production. This is why I can tolerate (and often times enjoy) underground brutal and technical death; because even the debut album of a SUPER underground Ukranian band called Ezophagothomia has much better sound quality than every album ever released by Darkthrone, one of the most famous black metal bands ever. So anyway, The Grand Leveller is a DEATH METAL record with BAD sound quality. But here’s the thing, the majority of death metal musicians from that time most likely barely had enough money to wipe their asses when they first started out, so shitty-sounding albums is going to be expected nonetheless.

So shitty quality can’t be something I can be allowed to complain about because it’s expected (see what I did there?). The first thing that I hear in the music when I listen to The Grand Leveller is Deicide. I know it doesn’t sound likely, but when you listen to Deicide’s first album, there’s a lot of guitar riffs and…well…the overall sound of the record that have obviously had some kind of influence on Benediction’s music in this album and many of their early material for that matter. But it’s not the blazing speed and brutality part that influenced Benediction. If you’re hoping for a much faster, more Morbid Angel-like album, this might not be your cup of tea, because most of the British death metal scene (NOT THE GRIND SCENE) had more of a slower style of doing things. This was probably influenced by the Dutch death metal scene because they have a similar style and the two countries have nothing but water separating them.

The drums on this album aren’t complex at all. You may notice that the typical death metal album has lots of blast beats or certain semi-complex and repetitive drum patters. But the drumming on this record doesn’t follow a specific drum pattern or play lots of blast beats (that’s not to say it’s the only one that doesn’t). The kick drums are drowned out for the most part unless you listen closely. The kick drumming is done at a pretty slow speed (even for that time). The other drum patters that are used are fully dependent on what the rest of the bands is doing. In other words, the drummer changes what he plays with every single tempo change and usually never plays the same drum pattern more than once. The most notable trait of his style of playing is doing quarter-note hits on the snare and the high-hat.

The best member of the band, hands down, is the bassist. He’s the one that’s playing the lead lines of the songs in the background. Jumping at Shadows is one of the best examples of this (especially right in the beginning). He does a much better job of playing the lead riffs than the lead guitarist, and often times plays along with the lead guitarist. As well as that, the way he plays his instrument pays off in a nice, bold sound that can easily punch through the rest of the shitty quality to give the music a HUGE lower end. The distortion on the guitars is an EXTREMELY gritty sound that gives the music its brutality and edge. The guitarists primarily play really low chords to lessen the contrast between them and the really deep bassist. But then again, the contrast doesn’t NEED to be small, but the fact that the band made it fairly minimal makes the music sound dark and menacing.

I’m not a huge fan of most of the old school death metal vocalists. I’m not saying that they acts as a turn-off for me, but I would REALLY prefer it if they had a much deeper growl (that’s why I love the early works of Immolation and Cannibal Corpse so much). Benediction’s vocalist has one of the deepest growls from the early death metal period. It’s not “Barnes deep”, but it goes along with the music perfectly. And to be honest, I wouldn’t change a thing about the vocals.

In fact, I wouldn’t change a thing about this album at all! It’s what I call a perfect death metal record (hence my 20/20 score). If you don’t have this album, get it. If you have it and don’t like it, listen to it again. This is a CLASSIC death metal record that deserves a place in EVERYONE’S death metal collection because it’s one of the most respectable death metal records of its time. 

Sinister - The Silent Howling

It’s funny that I haven’t written many reviews on some of the classic original death metal bands. I guess it’s time to start things up again on one of Sinister’s latest releases, The Silent Howling. Just to let you know, I know Sinister’s music VERY well. If you’re one of those “it’s all about the old school” kind of guys, my favorite Sinister album is Hate, released in 1995. I say that because I write reviews on recent albums released by these really old thrash metal and death metal bands and I get all these conservatives flooding me with the typical “THEY SUCK NOW” bullshit. Yeah, there are bands that aren’t as good as they used to be like Bolt Thrower, Obituary, and Sepultura. But here I am again, reviewing an album released in 2008 by a band who released their debut in 1992.

Sinister has done a pretty good job at keeping up with the constantly evolving death metal sound while still having a strong “old school death metal” vibe. One thing that people notice is that drumming in death metal is MUCH more technical than it used to be. You can see this in Sinister especially when you compare Hate with The Silent Howling. Not only is The Silent Howling much faster and more energetic than Hate, but it’s also more complex and technical. But remember, technicality and speed alone doesn’t mean awesomesauce; there has to be plenty of creativity to back it up. And let me tell you something folks, Sinister has fucking creativity in their music.

Probably what I like most about Sinister is that they’ve managed to gradually evolve their sound over the years, but still have it be all 100% SINISTER. There are a lot of death metal bands nowadays that come out with new albums that sound exactly like the album they released in the early nineties. Of course, there are countless better death metal albums and bands than Sinister, but as far as keeping it all original, Sinister has done one of the best jobs at that.

One thing that I’m starting to notice (I’m preparing to get bombarded) is that the vocalist sound A LOT like the Behemoth vocalist! I’m not kidding! He has that same grunted, forced-out growl that can be heard on Demigod and Evangelion. The drumming could use some more creativity, because although the frequently used blast beats sound cool, he uses the exact same blast beat pattern every time. I like to see it when drummers create their own unique blast beats and keep changing it up every so often to keep things fresh.

The songs don’t all sound identical to the point to where it’s really annoying, but they all have the same general sound. But the band is saved by the fact that the slightly overused sound is a really good sound. On top of these changes, there are a lot more guitar and bass solos than in earlier Sinister albums. So if you’re one of those guys that likes a solo bass riff or a fancy guitar lick here and there; but not to the point where it’s too crazy, The Silent Howling should have a place in your collection. And overall, I would recommend this album to all traditional death metal fans and to people interested in getting into pure traditional death metal. I would give this album 16/20. 

Birth of Depravity - The Coming of the Ineffable

I discovered Birth of Depravity via Inherited Suffering Records. When I saw the fantastic album artwork, I was expecting something similar to Inherit Disease or Spawn of Possession. But I also knew that Inherited Suffering is primarily known for its fantastic brutal death and death grind bands, my favorite being Ezophagothomia. But when I finished listening to the album, it turns out that I couldn’t put this record in either of those categories! What I found was an underground traditional death metal band. It’s not brutal enough to go in the same category as Devourment and Hate Eternal, and FAR from being technical enough to share space with Brain Drill and Obscura. So since I can’t really put them anywhere else, when people ask me what kind of music Birth of Depravity plays, I just say “death metal”. As pointless and miniscule as this may seem, this was actually a big deal for me because I hadn’t heard a NEW and UNDERGROUND pure death metal band since I heard Heresiae’s self-titled EP last year. And when I look at all the bands I have in the death metal section, most of them are the essentials and classics like Immolation, Morbid Angel, Grave, Autopsy, Vader, Obituary, etc.

So in other words, if you’re looking for a new band that plays a modernized version of pure death metal, Birth of Depravity MIGHT be just what you need! Ok, there are both plenty of pros AND cons that I have to say about this record, so I’m going to list the pros first because I need something to put me in a better mood (I’ve had a long day). The overall sound production of the album is VERY similar to Disentomb’s Sunken Chambers of Nephilim. It has a small amount of treble, and the mid-ranges and bass are turned way up. So if you need something to listen to on those shitty earbuds of yours that doesn’t hurt your ears with all the treble, this album is PERFECT for that because the treble is not overpowering at all and the sound is very thick and heavy.

The vocalist definitely has a talent for doing some of the deepest exhales I’ve ever heard. They sound a lot like the INHALED growls the Disentomb vocalist does on their debut album. But damn, this guy’s growls have a very clean, moist, and DEEP sound that really intensifies the darkness of the music. Although screaming in death metal can definitely sound cool, there are certain bands that require the deepest growls possible (like Immolation and Bloodbath). Birth of Depravity’s music definitely has a very dark and menacing sound. And the perfect element to really make that darkness stand out is deep growls.

The drummer also has TONS of technical skill. He does fall out of time here and there (not a good thing AT ALL), but he does a great job of adding an unrelenting amount of brutality to the music to give them more of an underground vibe. The drums aren’t overpowering at all; in fact, they’re almost behind everything else. Obviously, there are plenty of cases where the drums need to be front and center, but in this album, the drums are in the perfect place, working as the skeleton holding the other musical elements together.

Ok, here’s the problem I have with this band: their songs are unorganized and THEY ALL SOUND THE SAME! It’s nearly impossible to tell the individual songs apart. There’s usually AT LEAST some kind of lead riff or drum solo or SOMETHING in each song to help the listener tell them apart; but this album has none of that! And it’s fucking pissing me off! NO, slapping a random recording at the beginning of the song doesn’t count! Also, the sound of the album gets very boring by the time you get past the fifth song and eventually gets irritating. I don’t mind long songs (my favorite band is Opeth for fuck’s sake!), but this thing sounds like one song cut up into ten individual sections, not an album. The album loses its edge very quickly and loses its flavor even quicker. This is such a huge disappointment because I was so excited by the time the first four songs finished because they actually sounded cool.

This band has so much potential, but they express next to no creativity in this album at all, which leaves it for the pure death metal fans to like it the most. But don’t get me wrong, this is a good record to add to the old death metal collection, but it’s nowhere near a classic or an amazing album. I would rate this album 13/20. 

Upcoming Reviews

I have a long work week ahead of me, so most of the reviews this week will be done today, tomorrow, and thursday. But here are some bands I might do reviews on:

Hacksaw to the Throat (death grind)
Birth of Depravity (death metal)
Bloodrealm (death metal)
Sinister (death metal)
Veil of Maya (deathcore)
Wretched (deathcore)
Abyssic Hate (depressive black metal)

Carnophage - Deformed Future//Genetic Nightmare

I discovered Carnophage on some random site that advertised underground technical death bands. This is where I found some other tech death groups like Slaughtery and Arkhum (both of which I’ve written reviews on). But to be honest, most of the newer technical death bands I’ve been discovering recently have been pretty mediocre. Probably the best NEW ones I’ve heard are Cerebric Turmoil, Dystrophic, and Rings of Saturn. Other than that (and a few others), the newer tech death scene (especially the European section) seems to have grown pretty tasteless. But right now, I’m getting ready to review an album by the Turkish technical death band Carnophage. On the plus side, though, the album cover was done by my favorite visual artist; Par Olofsson (who did the covers for Planetary Duality, Incurso, Majesty and Decay, All Shall Fall, and countless other records).  

One of the things that REALLY brings this album way down and makes it extremely hard to enjoy is how it was produced. Especially how the guitars sound..eww. The guitars were either extremely under-produced or extremely overproduced. After listening to this album for almost four months, it’s starting to sound like every aspect of the record had WAY too much production work done on it. There’s almost no bass at all; even the bass guitar is high-pitched, just listen to the bass solo in the beginning of Bone Nails. The song structure in the album seems a bit too jumbled and unorganized. I have a hard time keeping up with the seemingly random song structure (which there isn’t really at all).

It seems like these guys are making an honest attempt at creating an EXTREMELY complex skeleton for their sound. The cool thing is, they succeeded in doing so, but it’s way too random an unorganized. It’s like they just made complex music for the sake of being extremely complex. Just like how when Rings of Saturn first started out, they were technical literally for the sake of being TECHNICAL! It’s the same idea, but it doesn’t sound good. I can’t keep up with the music’s tempo because it changes too fast and too often. I just can’t get past the fact of how unorganized and overly-complex these guys made this album.

Ok, besides all that, this album checks out. All of the musicians have plenty of talent and technical skill. My favorite part is that the bassist is the best musician in the group. In my favorite song on the record, Bone Nails, the guitarists start out by taking the lead. Then, everything goes quiet and the bassist starts playing the lick that ends up being the main structure that drives the rest of the song. Bone Nails is a surprisingly slow song considering the amount of technicality and complexity it carries. Although the drummer (who is REALLY quiet and hard to hear) is going absolutely mad in the background, the guitars (which drown everything out) make the song seem much slower because they’re not doing constant high-pitched shredding.

That just reminded me of a unique trait that Carnophage has. The technicality in the guitars isn’t super high-pitched like Brain Drill and Rings of Saturn, but not super low like Fleshgod and Severed Crotch. Instead, 90% of the technicality lies more in the mid-ranges, which isn’t something that you hear very often in the genre. I’m giving this record a 10/20 and would only recommend it to easily-impressed technical death fans. 

Korpiklaani - Ukon Wacka

Here’s what I’ve noticed when it comes to European folk music (not the shitty American folk), there’s two types: the really atmospheric and melodic kind, and the really upbeat and fast kind that they play at get-togethers. Ok, now let’s put that into folk METAL perspective: the soft and melodic folk can be found in Ensiferum and Eluveitie, and the really upbeat folk can be found in none other than KORPIKLAANI! Being all about fun and (obviously) beer, Korpiklaani delivers a one-of-a-kind musical experience that is hard to compare to anything else (no, Alestorm doesn’t count, they’re not nearly cool enough). When I had the pleasure to see Korpiklaani live a few months ago (in case you’re wondering, I was in fact totally smashed by the time they came on), it was like a party instead of a metal show. In the pit, people weren’t moshing, they were running towards each other from opposite corners, interlocking arms, and dancing around like some kind of motherfucking square dance! It was one of the most fun metal experiences I’ve ever had and I suggest you check them out since they’re coming back again with Moonsorrow. But let’s talk about my personal favorite record by these Finns, Ukon Wacka.

For some reason, Korpiklaani’s music is hard to break down because it’s so damn easy to just describe it in a few sentences. But I’m going to make an honest attempt at it. Well first of all, all of the songs on this album (except for the Motorhead cover) are in Finnish, which I understand perfectly. And after reading all the lyrics, whoever wrote them was obviously either really fucking happy or heavily intoxicated because they’re all about partying, alcohol, and having a hell of a good time.

The coolest thing about Korpiklaani is that they go all out and be ORIGINAL. They wear elk-skin clothes and leather moccasins, they have an accordion player, a fucking amazing guy on the fiddle, and I think one of the guys plays the bagpipes but I’m not sure. The one thing that I DO know for sure is that none of the folk instruments are tracked or played on the keyboards. Not that it makes any difference, but it really shows how dedicated these guys are to being PURE FUCKING FOLK METAL!

 Although personally, folk metal usually isn’t my first choice, Korpiklaani, Ensiferum, and Eluveitie have never ceased to impress me. In other words, I’m not a huge fan of folk metal, but this album is fucking FANTASTIC and one of the most fun records in my collection. My favorite member of the band is the fiddle player. And it’s not because of the instrument he plays, it’s because he’s one of the best fiddle players that I’ve heard since I first started listening to The Dixie Dregs (a southern progressive rock band my dad is obsessed with) when I was ten years old. Overall, the individual members don’t have too much technical skill, but as a whole band, the creativity is undeniable; I repeat, UNDENIABLE. These guys have managed to play the exact same kind of music for almost ten years and have it NEVER get old or bland. Instead, each album seems to be better than the last. I would give this album 18/20 for being my favorite non-Eluveitie folk metal album. My favorite song on this record is definitely Tequilla (which is ironically the single). This album NEEDS to have a home in EVERYBODY’S music library.